This project is about celebrating the strength of women and it is also about challenging misconceptions such as “it’s dangerous to have a child after 40” or “it’s too difficult to be an older mum”. We also want to put the spotlight on women who may have waited to have a child because they were focused on their career in their 20’s and 30’s or women who conceived after a long time of trying to get pregnant or trying treatments such as IVF. We are hoping to develop a series of honest, intimate and raw portraits of mothers with their child.
Sabina
Tell us your story.
My first pregnancy at 39 was sadly a miscarriage. The statistics are startling, 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage, and I think it's something that's not widely enough talked about. I was lucky enough to fall pregnant again and had my first daughter 3 days after my 40th birthday.
My second daughter was born 18 months later, on the date that my first miscarried pregnancy was originally due - such a lovely and meaningful coincidence.
Did you have any fears about carrying a child when you were over 40?
I did have fears about pregnancy at this age. For both pregnancies, I decided to meet my fears head-on by opting to get prenatal screening for chromosome abnormalities at 10 weeks.
Did any of these fears materialize?
When the results came back with the pregnancies being low risk, this put my mind at ease. From there on in, I felt fit and healthy throughout my pregnancies. However in both cases, the babies were measuring small in utero, so I had to undergo close monitoring in the last months and was recommended to have c-sections for their safety: because they were small and because of my age.
It's was a tricky situation to be placed in as I was genuinely looking forward to natural births, but in the end, I went with medical advice and had the c-sections. Apart from being smaller than average, the girls were perfect!
How did your life change afterwards? Or did it?
My life was completely different afterwards. I felt a sense of loss for the freedom and identity I had before becoming a mum, along with a huge appreciation of the love and happiness that having my two girls brings.
How has society received you as a mother over 40?
I haven't experienced any negativity, and don't think about myself as being in a different category from other friends who have had kids at a younger age. The joys and struggles of parenting seem to be experienced by all of us, regardless of age.
What would you say to women who are currently childless and thinking about conceiving?
Each woman has her own individual circumstances to consider, and only they can make the call as to whether having a child is right for them.
